Just one more step!

Thoughts. There all I have and all I am right now. Confusion. The main feeling that can describe how I feel. Sometimes it seems like I have it all and it's everything I ever wanted but it never stays too long. In a split of a second I find myself on the edge, I feel the power of the wind as it tries to take me down, apparently with no reason without any destination or purpose.
I find myself falling over and over again. I get back up, I refuse to surrender as I resist to fall.

I've tried to write many times, but when I see myself in front of a blank paper I can't seem to be able to express all the things that crosses my mind. Maybe that was even the main problem … thinking. As I can not express feelings as they are unique and influenced by so many variables that I don't realize they are there until I start to think...and then I acknowledge their presence and try to go to the fond of it until I get lost in translation.

I push myself on the edge of possible and impossible while trying to build a bridge. However, I don't feel like I'm doing enough. I think down inside I am capable of more. I can do better. I can go beyond the lines that are in front of me. But I can't manage to see what it's keeping me from crossing them. I try to push myself to make another step … just one more step that could make the difference.

And I know the process and I know the questions and definitively I know the answers … determination, courage and a touch of insanity maybe it's all I need. And I've worked on my determination, I've also defeated my fears and maybe, just maybe I'm in the process of becoming insane. Maybe all the questions that I keep asking myself and that are taking me to a labyrinth of thoughts and theories will lead me to insanity.

Something in me tells me that I will be able to make that step and that will make all the difference, that will make life worth living. When? - Well that is an answer that I will just have to find.